16 years old today…yeehaw…where’s the car keys?

His arrival into this world was the result of a huge argument on Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and a reconciliation w/ alcoholic bubbly on Friday, and a resulting ’stomach virus’ over Christmas.

#3 was born 2 weeks early, which was a gift of epic proportions. The final 2 weeks of pregnancy at the end of July in the Deep South? Believe you me, it was a Gift that he was a touch early. I wasn’t even sure I was in labor, but since he was the third, I was chosing to listen to myself and get to the hospital. A very short time later, the nurse hollered out “Lawsy folks! She’s havn’ this baby!”, and as they were rushing me from the labor room to the delivery room, there was a happy looking anesthesiologist in the hallway, and he yelled “STOP!” and caught #3 as he plopped onto the gurney. See, AP, sometimes having a baby is a breeze. I didn’t even have time to mess up my hair.

Everything he’s ever done, this #3 of mine, he’s done early. He walked at 9 months, potty trained at barely 2, picked up his first bb gun at 5 and hasn’t stopped since.

With the exception of school. That was a little bumpy. Kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade were a struggle for him. He was plenty smart, he just…struggled. So, they kept him in 2nd grade one more time, and gave him a generous and very experienced teacher, who recognized his happy spirit and active mind, and how he was oh, so distractable, so she built him a cubbyhole to work in, and gradually he learned, and grew and learned and now? My boy who repeated a grade and had to go to summer school? He’s on the Honor Roll. He’s on the Ranger team, and the Rifle team, and everyone loves him because he’s a peacemaker, and just, and the girls love him because he respects them and doesn’t try to make them do something they aren’t ready for.

He’s a Country Boy, he knows when to plant soybeans and how much vacuum pressure an engine should pull at 2000 rpm. He believes in a God Who loves him and wants what’s best for him, and knows how to listen for that. He knows all the words to Trace Adkins songs, and has posters of dirt bike riders on his wall. He also has the schematic for a 2 cylinder engine, and the ribbons classification for Army uniforms. And a set of banged up lawnmower blades. He can quote the serial killer from Saw 1,2 and 3. He only reads if there’s no other option. He’s all about the Cliff Notes.

His favorite snack is a custard cup of marinara sauce with a handful of mozzerella cheese on top, microwaved til hot. He loves bratwurst and sauerkraut, fried chicken livers, and runny eggs.

He wants to be in the Marines when he graduates from high school, then go onto college after that, to get a career that has him outside all day. Do NOT keep the boy inside. He doesn’t like that one bit. Put him on a tractor, or under the hood of a truck, or put a gun in his hands and throw a clay in the air, that’s what makes him happy.

Don’t keep him up past 10. Like Cinderella’s Carriage, he’ll turn into a pumpkin. He falls asleep like you’ve turned off a switch. He wakes up the same way. 6 am, Here he comes, chattering ideas and opinions and plans for the day.

Oh sure, he has his issues. He’s 16, it comes with the terrortory. He Knows More about most things than anyone else, even when he doesn’t. He’s confident bordering on cocky, with a side order of cock-sure. All that comes with the age. He’s got the brains, and the know-how, all he lacks at this point is experience, and that will come with time.

So Happy Birthday to my favorite 16 yr old! Have I listed enough embarrassing stuff?